120+ best funny quotes status about life Latest 2025

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120+ best funny quotes status about life

here we provide the best funny quotes about life,best life quotes funny,funny quotes life,short funny quotes about life etc. keep sharing keep loving.

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short funny quotes about life in english

If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes????

If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.

Never miss a good chance to shut up????

Do not take life too seriously, you will never get out of it alive

You know what I like most about people? Pets

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife

A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often

best funny quotes about life

I may look like a potato now, but one day I'll turn into fries and you'll want me then.

I always wake up smiling...???? I think it's your fault.

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer. – Ellen DeGeneres

The planet is fine. The people are fucked. – George Carlin

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. – Cathy Guisewite

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. – Winston S Churchill

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? – Albert Einstein

The best relationships are the ones you never saw coming.

Do you know why a previous relationship is called Ex? It's not the term for past. Ex is short for Expired.

You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life.

If the path be beautiful, let us not question where it leads.

You remind me of a library book because I always want to check you out.

Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there.

Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals.

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars."

I don't need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my friends for that.

Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.

All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

At every party there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.

If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.

Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment.

If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it’s another nonconformist who doesn’t conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That is your common sense leaving your body.

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

You want to know who I’m in love with? Read the first word again.

I love you with all my belly. I would say heart, but my belly is bigger.

I love you so much I’d fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu. But a care bear, I’d definitely fight a care bear for you.

Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

Will you lend me a kiss? I promise to give it back.????

I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?

funny quotes & saying about life

Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when I’m with you!

Good thing I brought my library card because I’m totally checking you out.

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again

Love is being stupid together.

Love; A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.

You must be made of Iodine, Livermorium, and Uranium because I Lv U!

You’re basically the cutest thing I have ever loved, after my kitten.

Everyday I fall in love with you more and more. Except yesterday... yesterday you were pretty annoying.

Love makes people do silly things. Like, it made me send you this message!

You’re the obi wan for me.

I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?

You’re the cheese to my macaroni.

Besides chocolate, you’re my favorite.

Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!

I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.

Together with you is my favorite place to be.

Let’s be weird and wonderful together.

It’s amazing how one day someone walks into your life, and then the next day you wonder how you lived without them.

You’re like a dictionary - you add meaning to my life.

Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe. So basically a clown ninja.

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.