1000+ Funny Jokes 2025
Find the best jokes for your social media posts. Whether you're looking for funny, witty, or creative jokes, explore a variety of jokes for Instagram, Facebook, and more. Perfect for sharing some humor!
they keep getting
Why don't pirates know the alphabet? Because they keep getting lost at C.
pun jokes
shouldn't you argue
Why shouldn't you argue with a dinosaur? You'll get jurasskicked.
pun jokes
girl's college
Contest in a girl's college: write a short story which contains religion, sex and mystery. Winner's story: "Oh god, I am pregnant, I wonder who did it."
dirty jokes
kangaroo jump higher
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? - Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
english jokes
Santa falls in Love
Doctor Santa falls in Love with a Nurse. He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister…
english jokes
capital is growing
What country's capital is growing the fastest?" "Ireland. Every day it's Dublin
dad jokes
during sex
They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the hell runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
dirty jokes
What does a lemon say
What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?" "Yellow!
dad jokes
his buddy
There is a fellow who is talking to his buddy and says, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. I'm stumped." His buddy says, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!" The first fellow does just that. The next day, his buddy asks, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?" "She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, 'I'll see you in two hours!'"
dirty jokes
good rope jokes
Know any good rope jokes? I'm a frayed knot.
pun jokes
Mexican Astronauts
You know why we don't have Mexican Astronauts? It's because the countdown goes like this, "10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Launch! Lonch!?!? Vamos a comer..."
short jokes
Italian mother
An Italian mother says, "If you don't eat all the food on this plate, I'll kill you." A Jewish mother says, "If you don't eat all the food on this plate, I'll kill myself."
short jokes
A cheeseburger
A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here
dad jokes
two black men in a red
Q: What do you call two black men in a red sleeping bag? A: A Kit Kat.
short jokes
clearly never
What flutters about and clearly never had a bath in its entire life? - Stinkerbell.
stupid jokes
janitor say
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?" "Supplies!
dad jokes
independent 75-year-old woman
A difficult independent 75-year-old woman liked sitting by the park feeding the pigeons. One day she brought with her a whole loaf of fresh bread just to feed her daily company. Little by little, pinch by pinch, she fed each pigeon with joy. She sat there without being noticed by anyone in the rich suburban neighborhood. Then suddenly a man in his early 40's rained on her parade by telling her that she shouldn't throw away good food on a bunch of pigeons that can find food anywhere when there are a lot of people starving in Africa. She replied in crazed anger and without hesitation, "Well, hell, I can't throw that far!"
english jokes
a great new drug
Doctor: “I’ve found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.” Patient: “Great, how often do I have to take it?” Doctor: “Every two hours.”
english jokes
call the lesbian
What do you call the lesbian version of a cock block? A beaver dam!
dirty jokes
beverage
Ladies, it is amazing how you do that, with a beverage coming out of your nipple, did you know that? Guys, we can't do it. Because if we could, we'd spend the whole time squirting each other
dirty jokes
goes to a church
An old man goes to a church, and is making a confession: Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18 year old." Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?" Man: "I never have, I am Jewish." Father: "Then why are telling me all this?" Man: "I’m telling everybody!"
dirty jokes
brunette were thinking
A blonde, redhead, and a brunette were thinking about what they would do if they went to space. The redhead said, "I would adopt a martian." The brunette said, "I would give Pluto some steroids." The Blonde said, "I would go to the sun." The redhead replied, "But you would burn up and die." The blonde responded, "Not if I went at night."
blonde jokes
So I asked a blonde
So I asked a blonde, "Which is closer, Florida or the Sun?" She said, "The Sun, because I can look up and see it.
blonde jokes
walks into a shoe
A blonde walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the salesclerk. "Well, they feel a bit tight," replies the blonde. The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the blonde’s feet. "Try pulling the tongue out," offers the clerk. “Nath, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth,” the blonde replies.
blonde jokes
An Irishman joke
An Irishman, an Indian man, a British man, and a Scottish man are riding in a plane. The pilot shouts back, "We need to lose some weight or we'll crash!" So the Irishman throws out some beer and saying, "We got enough of that in our country." The Indian throws out some curry and says, "We got enough off that in our country." The Scottish man throws some bagpipes off and says, "We got enough of that in our country." Then the British man picks up the Indian and chucks him off the plane saying, "We got enough off them that in our country."
short jokes
sex with a Chinese woman
I had sex with a Chinese woman last night. It was great, but an hour later I was STILL horny!
short jokes
A zebra
What’s black, red, black, red, black, red? - A zebra with a sun burn.
stupid jokes
restaurant on the moon
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? I heard the food was good but it had no atmosphere.
pun jokes
thief hire a maid
Why did the thief hire a maid to plan his vacation? He wanted a clean getaway.
pun jokes
personal trainer
I used to be a personal trainer. Then I gave my too weak notice
dad jokes